I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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