Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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