Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just got carded by a ten year old.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
