Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
