the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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