I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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