Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
