i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
