White coat. Heels.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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