Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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