sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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