Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
