I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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