Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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