the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
