all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
