Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
