return my video game
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
