one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
