you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
