I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
