woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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