Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
