Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
