Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
