My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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