My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
