i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
