Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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