My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
