i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
