honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
