do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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