I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
