I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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