Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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