They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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