sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
