If i come over, it means nothing
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
