Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
