Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
