I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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