idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
