for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize