I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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