im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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