Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
