Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And then he peed in my hair
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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