u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize