found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
