What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
