I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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