So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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