sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
